Everyday UseInternet Tips

First order of business: Josh broke his collarbone when he fell off a four-wheeler last week. I'm beginning to think it's yet another sign that maybe I'm trying to turn Josh The Cowboy into a modern, Internet-surfing lunatic like the rest of us, when maybe... well, maybe I shouldn't. I mean, are the rest of us just so addicted to the World Wide Web—so reliant on its myriad information and random trivia—that we simply can't conceive that a person living in the middle of nowhere could possibly be content and fulfilled without an Internet connection? I'd submit that I am.

But still, I can't shake the idea that Josh, our thirty-something, single cowboy, would be better off having the Internet available to him at home. What if he'd like to email an aunt? Check out movie times in the city? Look at online classifieds for pickups or livestock? So I've persevered—consulting with Josh as to the type of computer he'd like, and ordering it for him as a token of what has become my obsession with turning him into a 21st century cowboy.

The Internet connection has been my most recent struggle. Where we live, on our isolated ranch, there are two options, period: dial-up and satellite. And in the ten years I've been connected in the country, I've had both.

First let me say that it's almost a daily source of consternation to me that DSL or cable Internet is not—and never will be—a possibility, even in my own house. In fact, that's exactly how the local phone company technician put it to me over a year ago. After having received several calls from company salesmen trying to get me to sign up for their DSL service, and after I insisted to them, time after time, that no, they must be mistaken, I live in the middle of nowhere and have been told DSL is not available in my area, I finally made one salesperson's day and said, "Okay, what the heck. I'll play along. Sign me up! I'd love to have your 'DSL Service!'" I figured if they were going to keep calling me, I'd throw one of them a bone. And who knows? Maybe they knew something I didn't.

I received a call the next day from our local technician, who was supposed to set up a time to come activate this DSL Service.

"Um, yes ma'am... I have a ticket here that you ordered DSL at your residence."

"Yes. I did." I responded, waiting for him to lower the boom.

"Um, yes ma'am... there's only one problem. You can't get DSL in your area," the technician informed me.

REALLY? I thought to myself. "Yes, I know this," I said. "But your company has called me seven times, trying to get me to sign up for DSL, and I finally just decided to go for it. I kinda knew it wouldn't work out, though."

"Yes, I'm sorry about that, ma'am," the polite technician responded.

"No big deal," I replied. "But hey—can you give me some idea of when DSL might be available in my area just so I'll know when to expect it?"

"Um, yes ma'am... well, you see... you'll basically never have DSL in your area. It's a practical impossibility."

This is the reality of country life.

So back to Josh. I remember the days of dial-up. Of course, I knew no different, so to me, it was faster than what I ever had before, which was nothing. But once I got satellite Internet, the difference was unmistakable. Even though it'll never rival the speeds of DSL or cable, Web pages load so much more quickly on satellite, and photos pop up almost instantly. Dial-up, for me, meant slow load times, fewer Web pages visited... and you can forget about downloads—that's an exercise in frustration and agony. So for me, the owner/operator of a Website, it's a no-brainer: satellite is the only way to go.

For Josh, though, I'm not so sure. First of all, I have no idea as to how frequently Josh will wind up using the Internet; he could be one of those souls who just never really gets into the groove. If that's the case, a $9.99 dial-up account seems to make a lot more sense than satellite, which has upwards of a $500 equipment set-up expense, not to mention a $60 per month charge for the service. On the other hand, by signing Josh up for dial-up, would I be essentially decreasing his chances of having an enjoyable Internet experience, thereby increasing the chances that his new laptop will sit and collect dust? I don't want to shortchange him and doom him to an unsatisfactory Internet experience... but then again, I don't want to aim for the sky (literally) if that's unnecessary.

So what will it be? Dial-up? Or satellite?

Stay tuned to find out.